Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
