i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
