hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think i have herpe
just one?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
