also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
