Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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