We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
