Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We had to coat check the pizza.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
