I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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