90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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