What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm having to shit out rocks
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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