i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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