rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
