Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
