can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
