Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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