I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
