Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
