i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i believe in u and ur pee
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