false alarm. still invincible.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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