this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
