Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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