This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
