I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
