Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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