have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
