hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
