I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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