How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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