i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
