Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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