I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
