If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
