Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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