I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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