Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize