the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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