my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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