Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
