please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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