I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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