Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
