I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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