Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
