Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think i have herpe
just one?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
