ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
