This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
