i think i have two assholes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
