All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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