My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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