It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
