what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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