oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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