He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
MIDGETS
????
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
