I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
