I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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