...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was so not down for the gang bang
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
