My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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