I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
